Car.

February 8, 2009
3:48AM

Groggily driving down the culdesac I find a sigh of relief is all I can utter to rejoice in yet another safe trip home. I also find something else. A car parked on the driveway. Not an uncommon occurrence, out of the many household cars already populating the private parking space we always figure a way to make room for visitors who don't want to be ticketed at 2:00AM for parking on the curb (probably the most Irvine thing about Walnut). Whoever it belongs to, they haven't had it for long, since there's no license pla--wait a minute...you're not....shoot.

My dad and I had been talking about buying a car, which mainly involved him getting me to answer the pestering dealership people calling us and replying to emails saying we're not ready to make a decision yet. I guess my dad didn't send me the memo that he was ready. I was much too tired to jump up and down.

Things I was also "much too" to jump up and down:
1. old
2. alone
3. outside

I'm happy the day is finally here. It's not the feeling of independence; I didn't purchase it, and I'll mostly be using it to drive to work with my dad (the latter being reason why I can't do the former without the help of the superior). It's not the feeling of possession; we haphazardly switch around cars depending on who needs to go where and when. It's not the feeling of reward; I definitely don't feel deserving of something like this.

It's grace. So much grace, from my dad, from my mom (who refused to enjoy buying a new car until she test drove this one), and from God. Grace from God to do His work. I often contemplate the burden I put on others, making them pick me up and drop me off, and the limit that creates in my ministry, though I do love riding in cars with other people. It's where I have some of them most memorable conversation.

The car is by far my chatroom of choice.

I can't wait to pick people up, to say "yeah I'll take you," to let people depend on me this time around. I can only imagine the future conversations. I could go off on how meek I've always felt having to ask people every single week to take me here and there, the need to ask a favor just so I can get from point A to B. Now I get to do that for others. No distance too far in theory, but not in gas money. Nonetheless I'm excited to see how far I can go. Who wants to come with?