Ain't nothin like a good car ride.

I'm not always an advocate of relative judgment, but I have to go with the Goldilocksian method on this one:

The phone is simply too much pressure. No bard be I; I shudder at the thought of having to sustain interest by casual conversation without the aid of hand motion, facial expression, or environmental diversion. And how is one supposed to deal with prolonged silences? It's like the telephonic equivalent of staring each other in the face, slack-jawed and blank-faced. What? You simply blurt out whatever comes to mind in a desperate attempt to bridge the discrepancy between worthwhile topics? The random subject change becomes too fragile a walkway to cross, crumbling in translation and causing the adventurer to fall into indefinite awkwardness. Sigh, a fate I know all too well. Too intimate.

Instant messaging is easily a distant enough venue for nonchalant information and straight-talk, and the commitment flexibility dismisses most bad readings of quiet gaps, easily ameliorated with a "brb" or the opportune YouTube video recommendation. But this distance is unregulated, and in the circumstance in which you were aiming for intimacy, myriad problems arise. Both the poet and subtle comedian will find it difficult to exact the delicate changes in tone, timing, and volume necessary for appropriate expression, and "argumentative Arvin" is sure to leave the conversation in a frustrated huff of misunderstanding. Too distant.

Car rides provide the perfect medium:

- Little fear of disinterested parties. Everyone knew what kind of commitment they were getting themselves into -- I mean they literally got into it. It's not like they can walk out on the conversation, and - provided you control radio and iPod use - it's an arduous task to tune out. The car is a chat-room be default. Just intimate enough.

- No need for eye contact. Everyone has a window, and there is a world of images around you, each one approximate enough to justify a glance, yet ephemeral enough to prevent prolonged distraction. Just distant enough. Plus, nature tends to help ease things along. There's just something about vast blue skies or streetlight-lit scenery that seem to provoke deep thought.

- If all else fails, the radio is the quintessential social fire extinguisher -- break glass in case of emergency.

Of course, lunch & dinner dates are a close second, though one may need to be properly equipped with creative ways to end the rendezvous if necessary.

So let me know if you need a ride somewhere. If I can, I will.