They say there are two things you’re never supposed to talk about at the dinner table. I’m only going to mention one (hopefully you’re not eating). I sympathize with the hesitation many have with confronting tough questions about their thoughts on life. There is a lot of sensitivity to these situations, and unfortunately some people disregard the “handle with care” sticker and just throw it around like a mud pie. Pesky trolls have been no help, either. It’s no surprise then why more and more people are turned off to this stuff altogether. For some, they feel such conversation leads to nothing but mindless yelling (which it often does). Others are intimidated by the idea because they haven't done much study and fear getting trampled by dense textbook jargon and highfalutin rebuttals. Some think it’s futile because they figure nobody is right, while others think it’s unnecessary because they figure everyone is right. Some aren’t touchy about it…they just don’t care. Here sensitivity isn’t the case, its apathy. "Just live your life."
Do you relate to any of these? No matter which ones you subscribe to, the verdict is usually the same:
"Just let people believe what they believe."
I’m relieved to know that there isn’t a single person who consistently holds true to this creed. A society where people never argue anything would be a world in which you couldn’t distinguish between truth and error. You would not be able to tell food from poison or friend from foe. You could not tell good from bad, right from wrong, healthy from unhealthy, or safe from unsafe. A scary reality that would be.
Have you ever seen someone you care about make a stupid decision? Do you throw up your hands and say “just let people believe what they believe,” or do you try to reason with them? Has a friend ever talked you out of a bad decision? Would you have preferred they didn't, and "just let you life your life?"
The ability to argue well is vital for clear thinking. Arguing is a virtue because it helps us determine what is true and discard what is false.
Some are happy to speak their mind, and spread awareness of their conclusions about life with boldness, but are still turned off to the idea of hearing other views or even defending their own. The issue here is something else: insecurity. To those who are healthy in talking but malnourished in listening, I offer this challenge: Truth is that which conforms to reality. And if it’s reality, then there’s no reason to be afraid, because it will ultimately speak for itself. Not wanting to talk about it, then, might be due to a bad feeling that the beliefs in possession are quite possibly wrong ones.
Indeed arguing is often hard to understand, intimidating, mishandled, futile, and injurious to relationships. But other times, arguing is beautiful, respectful, and inspiring. And those times, it’s just what we need to hear.
This is part 2 of the "Do Your Homework" series.
