"But that’s just who I am.”

The extent to which this conversation-ender is used relies heavily on what defines a person. That is, in order to verify if it is indeed a reasonable response, we need to figure out what it is that makes him “who he is.” Take for example the following dialogue:

“Jeremy, why didn’t you take out the trash like I told you to?

“Well…I just felt like being lazy.”

“Well, stop being lazy!”

“But that’s just who I am!”

Jeremy might further defend his case by saying “well, I can’t force myself to want to take out the trash.” There's truth to this -- if he doesn't want to, then he doesn't want to. But is this still reason for him to indulge in his laziness? Here’s where things get tricky: If Jeremy believes that a man is defined by what he feels, then his reasoning is sound. So when he's faced with the temptation to be lazy, he has no choice but to comply because that's the identity that nature has chosen for him. However if Jeremy believes that a man is defined by his actions, then his reasoning doesn’t hold up. The desire to be lazy is undoubtedly part of his nature, but he still has the power to make his own decisions despite what his feelings tell him. Yes, he may not be able to say "Heart, I command you to want to take out the trash!" but he is still able to say "Body, I command you to get up and take out the trash despite what Heart is telling you." Here we see that while above the body is the heart, above the heart still is the mind.

Even as temptations grow stronger, this truth abounds (we see this in former drug addicts and recovering alcoholics). The key is learning to define the line between temptation and action, because it's in that blurring of the line that misnomers occur about who we are. If it's true that we can accomplish what we put our minds to, then consequently we need to grab control of our identity; put away this "but that's just who I am" talk and take responsibility for our actions.

"Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I will not be defined by my temptations.