Refiner's Fire.

"Purify my heart,
Let me be as gold, and precious silver"

This post is coming much later than usual. I apologize for the wait and thank you for your patience (I sound like a call center). Recently I had been meditating on the song "Refiner's fire" and the peculiarity of its lyrics.

The simile he poses is not a pleasant one. Gold and silver are purified by a process called smelting, where metal is melted down in a furnace so that the dross (impurities) rises to the top where it can be removed. When the author here asks to be as gold, he's crying out to have his heart put through fire, where fire can only be understood as excruciating suffering.

A rather unusual plea. I mean, why would you wish for suffering?

It seems foolish to think someone would ask for hardship. Surely a good life is one that exists without having to deal with sickness, exclusion, exams, unrequited love, miscommunication, disappointment, and heartbreak. These are certainly not the moments we cherish -- far from it, we actually feel the opposite. Yet still, many people confess that out of their most painful and tragic experiences have come the greatest lessons they've learned in life. Even though it hurt to learn those lessons, they're better people for knowing them. We see this pattern in society -- the more impoverished areas of the world produce insightful, patient, and grateful people; whereas we too often find higher society to produce people that are shallow, brash, and unappreciative. There seems to be a very deep correlation between helplessness and faith, that in our lowest moments we recognize our highest need for God. This is best illustrated by an old poem:

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve;
I was made weak, that I might humbly learn to obey.

I asked for health, that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.

I asked for riches, that I might be happy;
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life;
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.

I received nothing that I asked for – but everything that I had hoped for;
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.

I am, among all men, most richly blessed.

-- Anonymous Confederate soldier

The key to understanding the author's prayer is knowing that the best way to receive God's blessings is with a broken and contrite heart (Psalm 51:17), like a driver no longer able to deny his unequivocal need for fuel when he's on the side of the road with an empty tank. And in that moment of emptiness, God will come by and pour into you something even better than what you had before: Jesus Christ.